Thankful!

Thankful- grateful and appreciative.

For a majority of the last few years I have taken an entitlement attitude. “As a Christian, God you are entitled to make this road easy for me and if you don’t it is because you don’t love me.” To tell you the truth my attitude has stunk. Sure I had my moments of clarity, but my entitlement attitude caused me to sink into a deep depression. Steven Furticks message on Sunday really resonated in my soul on being Thankful. So today I focus on the things I am thankful for…

I am thankful for a relationship with Christ that is about more than just me. That He loves me enough He will allow me to walk through things that will not only change my character but impact people along the way. I am thankful that He sees more potential in me than I see in myself. That He trusts me enough to know that when I can’t handle anymore, I can turn to Him and He can carry the rest. I am thankful that I have a relationship with Him because without Him I would have never made it through.

I am thankful for a husband that is totally opposite from me! Thankful that he is not sensitive and emotional like me, but that he is more level headed and factual. God knew we needed both of our characteristics to make it through! I thank God for Jason’s sense of humor that helped us laugh when things were very dark.

I am thankful for the bosom buddy that God gave me in Christy. Without this experience we would have never met and I can’t imagine how much different life would be without her. No one gets me at the depth that she does! No matter the length of time that goes by, we can pick up like no time has passed. She is someone who always knows when to speak and when just to say I am sorry!

I am thankful for all of my family who called to check on us, who came over to clean my house, who paid for cleaners when they knew we couldn’t.  Thankful for all the hours they spent at the hospital and time spent keeping family informed through email and phone so we could focus on Brayden. Thankful for their love and all the time and gas they spent to be with us. Thankful for each and every one of them that met our needs using the gifting that God had given them! Without their support we could not have made it.

I am thankful for all the friends that partnered with us. That cooked, prayed and sent out emails. I am thankful for all of you!

I am thankful for all the people along the way that God has allowed us to meet. All the Ron’s that prayed for us. All the Natalie’s that through His divine appointments, allowed us to meet. All the awesome nurses like Louise that took care of Brayden. All the Emily’s that believed with us in the impossible and did not settle for the reports! For that, I am thankful!

So many times, it is easy to get caught up in the pain and allow it to crimple you from reaching your full potential. Thankfulness is a choice! It is an attitude. No matter how dark your situation is, there is something you can find to be thankful over! Today, I am choosing thankfulness because God really has blessed me with so much.

The Darkness

The silence is deafening and the darkness blinding. It is cold and damp and it chills my very soul. Imprisoned by the walls.....walls that I put up none the less, but walls that kept me alone. Alone in my sadness, and pain and fear. It ate at me...eating away at the very core of who I am and who I am called to be. Frozen by fear, afraid to admit, accept or reveal....and so I sat, stuck in the mire around me. Unable to cope, unable to hope, unable to move on. It was then that I heard Your voice, calling me from beyond that place, calling me to the destiny You had already laid out for me. But the darkness...the sadness consumed me.....even still You called. Ever so patiently, ever so gently You called. The darkness still around, the pain so very deep but now a strength surged through my soul and a recognition that I was not alone but loved by the Almighty God. You knit me together in my mothers womb and numbered the hairs on my head! You had come to rescue me and a new hope and determination welled up in my soul as You filled me with understanding, that I am not alone! I began to wiggle my feet, first one and then the other, shaking free the mire that had once held me prisoner. The darkness still very dark and deep but Your voice guided me. One step and then another, I followed You...trusting in Your voice to lead me. Soon my steps became faster, my trust in Your voice greater unil I found myself running. Running in complete trust in Your voice to protect me and show me the way. It was then, in the total trust in the voice that created me, the darkness was consumed....the sadness disappeared and the pain completely healed. It was then, I found myself restored, renewed, and running passionately the race You had created me to run!

Being fulfilled in a thankless job.

Ever feel you do all you do as a mom and no one sees or appreciates you? Don’t get me wrong my kids are absolutely the best in the world but they don’t exactly scream “Oh thank you mom for picking up all the cheetos we scattered all throughout the house and then washing our shirts that had orange finger prints all over them!” or “Thank you so much for this wonderful meal you took your time to prepare for us, I have never tasted anything as wonderful as this!” Not only that but you don’t hear the world screaming “Great job mothers, way to cultivate the Godly gifting in your kids!” Sometimes our jobs as mothers become so iterative that it makes your wonder “ Is my job really important and it there really value in what I am doing?”
I was having a conversation about this with one of the wisest woman I know, my mom when she spoke so clearly it was as if God spoke through her words directly into my heart. Being a mom is the most important job most of us will ever have. God has instilled gifting in us so that we can turn around and instill them into our children. It is not a time for us to wonder through this parenting thing on autopilot but grab it by the reins and do they best job we can cultivating our children into the men and women God has called them to be. Our jobs ARE important! We will never get applauded for all we do by the world but even more we need to applaud ourselves for doing the work He has called us to do. We are valuable and He needs us! What and awesome job, to be needed by the Master!

Starting off light

Ok, so for my first blog, I am going to keep it real light. I have felt impressed for a while to start blogging what is on my heart and what God has been sharing with me, but for now... just an intro.
My name is Kimberly and I am a wife of the most handsome, romantic, awesome man in the whole world. He is my best friend and he is truly a gift from God. We have 3 beautiful kids that each bring something new and exciting to our family. Karyn is almost 9 and she is our compassionate one and such a little encourager. She is the one that will try to make things better when something is wrong. Brayden is our little miracle and just like his daddy. Not only does he look just like him but he has the same sense of humor too. He loves making us laugh. Ashlyn is our little joy. She was our gift at a very hard time in our lives and she is true to her middle name she brings such joy to our lives.
There is just the surface on us but there will be more to come!
Not my will but His!
Kimberly